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Showing posts with the label God is in control

God Doesn't Design Cookie Cutter Lives

A few months ago, I found myself struggling with jealousy toward my siblings. I’m not quite sure how to explain what I mean. I wasn’t jealous over what they had in their lives compared to me. There wasn’t a specific thing either of my brothers or my sister had that I wanted. Rather, I was jealous because their lives seemed to be going better than mine, that they escaped the struggles I have faced, the ones I still deal with (such as food allergies and health issues). This sounds horrible, like I want my siblings to suffer, to not have good lives, but I don’t. I mean...why can’t I just not suffer the things I do? Why can’t I have more good things in my life? It’s a struggle to write this, because I hate admitting it. I don’t want you to think I hate my life. I don’t. But at that time, I found myself upset that my life didn’t look as “good” as my siblings’ lives. I found myself asking why God had let this happen. What had I done that my life was so different from theirs? Di...

Our Timing Versus God's Timing

Things always happen at the “worst” possible time. Ten days before Christmas, I got sick with the worst cold I’ve had in years (I’m just a few days over the aftermath). Seven days before Christmas, a new cat happened to pop into my life. A very young, very ravenous, very energetic, very curious, very messy male cat. I still had shopping to do, deadlines to meet, and projects to finish. One night, exhausted, having spent the day scrambling to get what I could done with my limited energy and time, the cat made a new mess for me to clean up, despite my best efforts to minimize the amount of messes he could make. I almost had a meltdown. I was so tired, so done, and struggling with the loss I’d sustained near Christmas years earlier. All I could ask was why was all of this happening all at once? At the worst possible time? The story of Joseph and Mary looks like a case of bad timing one right after another. Mary gets pregnant right before getting marri...

Can We Have Perfect Peace in an Imperfect World?

"You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You." ~ Isaiah 26:3, NKJV This verse has been running through my head a lot the past couple of weeks. When my heart has been anything but peaceful as I watch the health of two of my three cats slowly fail. Letting go of them, who I love so much, have had for so long, it hurts. And besides that, there have been other things going on in my life which tear at my heart and fill my mind with doubt and fear. Chances are, fear and doubt are plaguing you too. Maybe you're watching a parent or a grandparent's health fail. Maybe your parents are going through a divorce. Maybe you're going through a divorce. Maybe you're struggling with school or work or illness. Maybe what's bothering you is something else. I think about when Isaiah penned this verse, under the inspiration of God. He started his ministry in the same year King Uzziah died (Isaiah 6:1). He lived throug...

In Control

I just finished reading a novel that was really good but extremely sad. In it, the main character and her family were in a horrible car crash, her parents dead on the scene, and her little brother and herself seriously wounded. As the novel plays out, her brother dies as well. As she is in a coma, the novel is told through her eyes first as herself and then as she sees things in her comatose state. Stricken with grief over her family's passing, and in such bad shape herself that she would need quite a few reconstructive surgeries, the girl battles between whether she wants to fight for life anymore, or whether she wants to give up and die. Because according to one nurse, it is the girl's choice whether she lives or dies. While the author did a beautiful job writing the story (except for the swear words, that is), there were a couple of things I disagreed with her on. One of them was this idea, that we get to choose our own destiny. Because although we choose several thing...