God Doesn't Design Cookie Cutter Lives

A few months ago, I found myself struggling with jealousy toward my siblings.

I’m not quite sure how to explain what I mean. I wasn’t jealous over what they had in their lives compared to me. There wasn’t a specific thing either of my brothers or my sister had that I wanted. Rather, I was jealous because their lives seemed to be going better than mine, that they escaped the struggles I have faced, the ones I still deal with (such as food allergies and health issues).

This sounds horrible, like I want my siblings to suffer, to not have good lives, but I don’t. I mean...why can’t I just not suffer the things I do? Why can’t I have more good things in my life?

It’s a struggle to write this, because I hate admitting it. I don’t want you to think I hate my life. I don’t. But at that time, I found myself upset that my life didn’t look as “good” as my siblings’ lives. I found myself asking why God had let this happen. What had I done that my life was so different from theirs? Did God not love me as much?

Of course, God helped me realize that I was believing lies. And He did that by guiding me to the lives of three men in the Bible. Two of them were brothers. The other was a close friend of theirs. All three were called by Jesus.

Their names? Peter, James, and John.

All three of these men were apostles, all called by God to serve and lead the early church. All of them were fishermen, working together in their boats before Jesus called them (Luke 5:1-11). All three were the only disciples present at the Transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-3) and at the healing of Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:37-43; Luke 8:51-56). We’ll see all three of them in Heaven someday.

All had tempers. James and John wanted to call down fire from Heaven on a village that rejected Jesus (Luke 9:51-56). And most of us know what a fire brand Peter was. After all, he chopped off a dude’s ear when Jesus was under arrest (John 18:1-14).

And these three men, who all started out so similar, had very similar lives and ended up dying within days of each other...right?

Well...not quite.

James was killed by Herod at the very beginning of the early church (Acts 12:1-5). He was likely the first of the apostles to die.

Not long after, Peter was imprisoned, but God sent an angel to free him (Acts 12:6-11). He was considered the leader of the apostles, wrote two epistles (a fancy term for a letter), and may have helped write the Gospel of Mark. He was even told by Jesus how he would die (John 21:18-19). Peter most likely was killed during the persecution under Nero.

And as for John? He served for years and wrote the Gospel of John and three epistles. Later, Jesus appeared to Him and revealed what John then recorded in the Book of Revelation. He lived much longer than Peter, way longer than his brother, and was possibly the last of the apostles to die.

When you look at their lives, do you immediately begin to wonder what on earth James did, that God let Herod kill him, while Peter was rescued? Or what John did, that he got to live so long and write so much of the New Testament?

If you do, you’re falling into the same trap I did, the same trap many of us do.

God didn't love James any less than John. John wasn't less sinful than Peter. The truth is, James died so early because God’s work for him was completed. Peter died when he did because at that time God’s work for him was completed. John lived as long as he did, wrote the books that he did, because that was God’s work for him.

Now, as I’ve said before, if there’s sin in our lives, God does let bad things happen to us to get our attention. But it’s not the only reason. James, Peter, and John all had sin in their lives, and they all loved Jesus and dedicated their lives to serving Him. But God had different plans for each one of them.

And He has different plans for each one of us.

We often get upset because of comparing our lives to others. We grumble because the girl next to us has a boyfriend while we’re single, or a friend has business trips all over the globe while we’re answering phones, or insert-your-want-that-someone-else-has-here. But God doesn’t design cookie cutter lives. He has assigned us each a different path, a scary yet marvelous way to glorify Him with our one life here on earth.

I have complained about suffering things my siblings haven’t, but they’ve suffered things I haven’t. I have bemoaned not having as “many” good things in my life as them, but the truth is I have several blessings they don’t have. We all suffer different things. We all have different blessings.

I’d like to tell you that, once my epiphany happened, I got cured of the jealousy bugs and lived happily as me without complaint. But that would be a lie. What I can tell you, though, is now when those feelings come up, whether it’s toward my siblings’ lives or someone else’s, I remember that even though I might not like certain aspects of my life, it is good because God designed it. So my job is to just follow Him where He leads.