3 Dangers of Comparison's False Comfort
We all know what a trap comparison is, we've heard enough about how we shouldn't compare our lives, looks, etc to other girls, that Facebook inflates what our lives look like.
But I haven't heard nearly as much about comparing our faults to those of others.
That is a trap I've recently discovered in my life.
I've always had an issue with comparison, if I'm honest. I think most of us do. We live in a sinful world, and from babyhood we're taught to look/act/be a certain way. We're indoctrinated with comparing ourselves every time we turn on the T.V. pretty much.
We've used comparison lots to tell ourselves where we lack.
We also use it a lot to pat ourselves on the back, to convince ourselves we're doing okay.
But whereas we know by now how dangerous it is to compare ourselves to others as a standard of what we lack, the dangers of comparing our faults and mistakes to those of others to make ourselves feel better is much more slippery.
Let's be honest: it feels good to be able to look at what someone else did, and "realize," "Hey, what I did isn't nearly as embarrassing/guilty/shameful/lacking/whatever as what she did."
But this false comfort is pricey, and deadly.
This false comfort gives us peace that quickly passes, rather than the peace which surpasses all understanding.
Here are three dangers to this false comfort.
1. It makes us look down on someone else.
We tend to feel better because someone else did something "worse" than we did.
We don't tend to consciously think or say this to ourselves, but it's still there every time we compare.
We feel better because, when we think someone else has made a bigger mistake or committed a worse sin than we did, we tell ourselves that we're better/holier than they are.
But this false comfort leads us to think less of someone else, rather than to help us love them.
I might have gotten his name wrong, but at least I didn't constantly call him by the wrong name as she did.
I may have lied to my teacher about why my paper isn't done, but at least I didn't print one off the internet.
When I think this way, instead of leading me to love her (We all make mistakes or I didn't do what was right either, I need to tell my teacher the truth about my paper), it causes me to ease my own embarrassment or guilt in the wrong way, by putting her down instead of dealing with it.
2. It can take our eyes off our own path.
After asking Peter three times if he loved Him, Jesus told Peter how he would die. After hearing this, and seeing John walking behind them, Peter asked Jesus what John's life would look like (John 21:15-24).
We don't know whether Peter was jealous that John's life might be "better," or if he was prideful in thinking that he would play such a role, and wanted to know what John's life would be like so he could feel superior.
If we look at how Peter grew throughout the gospels, it's probable that, after hearing what he would suffer for Christ's sake, he was concerned for his friend. The Bible doesn't give us Peter's heart intent. But it does give us Jesus' answer.
"What is that to you? You must follow me." (John 21:22, NIV)
God has called us all to different paths, and while we are called to be concerned for others, we're not called to compare our lives to theirs. We're called simply to follow Christ in the way He leads us, not in the way He's leading someone else.
If I compare my faults to others, it makes it harder to keep my eyes on my path, instead of looking at theirs.
Comparing in one area makes it easier to compare in another.
Comparing faults makes it easier to fall into the trap of comparing blessings.
Comparing faults makes it easier to compare lives.
All comparison with others takes our focus off of Christ.
3. We start to see our value apart from Christ.
When we use comparison as a false comfort, we forget where our worth really lies. With Who our worth really lies.
Instead, we fall back into the lie that our value is based on our own actions.
I didn't fall flat on my face in front of the entire staff meeting, so at least I'm not that embarrassing.
My work on that project might not be very good, but at least I turned it in on time, unlike her project.
But this "good" feeling we get only lasts so long. And then we start to feel dissatisfied again.
Dissatisfied with our lives, our callings...
We start to feel worthless once more.
Because using comparison to bolster our sense of worth will never set us free from the pressure of feeling our worth is based on our performance rather than His Person.
Turning away from it, though, helps us to remember that, though we slip up and fail, though we make mistakes and sin, God accepts us for who we are, because He has deemed us valuable no matter what we do.
Comparison in both forms is deadly, because both cause us to turn our focus off Christ, and to how we ourselves stack up. We need to make sure we guard against not only comparing where we lack, but also in how we use comparison to comfort us in the face of our own faults.
Because only in Christ can we find true comfort and forgiveness, both for silly mistakes and our sins.
But I haven't heard nearly as much about comparing our faults to those of others.
That is a trap I've recently discovered in my life.
I've always had an issue with comparison, if I'm honest. I think most of us do. We live in a sinful world, and from babyhood we're taught to look/act/be a certain way. We're indoctrinated with comparing ourselves every time we turn on the T.V. pretty much.
We've used comparison lots to tell ourselves where we lack.
We also use it a lot to pat ourselves on the back, to convince ourselves we're doing okay.
But whereas we know by now how dangerous it is to compare ourselves to others as a standard of what we lack, the dangers of comparing our faults and mistakes to those of others to make ourselves feel better is much more slippery.
Let's be honest: it feels good to be able to look at what someone else did, and "realize," "Hey, what I did isn't nearly as embarrassing/guilty/shameful/lacking/whatever as what she did."
But this false comfort is pricey, and deadly.
This false comfort gives us peace that quickly passes, rather than the peace which surpasses all understanding.
Here are three dangers to this false comfort.
1. It makes us look down on someone else.
We tend to feel better because someone else did something "worse" than we did.
We don't tend to consciously think or say this to ourselves, but it's still there every time we compare.
We feel better because, when we think someone else has made a bigger mistake or committed a worse sin than we did, we tell ourselves that we're better/holier than they are.
But this false comfort leads us to think less of someone else, rather than to help us love them.
I might have gotten his name wrong, but at least I didn't constantly call him by the wrong name as she did.
I may have lied to my teacher about why my paper isn't done, but at least I didn't print one off the internet.
When I think this way, instead of leading me to love her (We all make mistakes or I didn't do what was right either, I need to tell my teacher the truth about my paper), it causes me to ease my own embarrassment or guilt in the wrong way, by putting her down instead of dealing with it.
2. It can take our eyes off our own path.
After asking Peter three times if he loved Him, Jesus told Peter how he would die. After hearing this, and seeing John walking behind them, Peter asked Jesus what John's life would look like (John 21:15-24).
We don't know whether Peter was jealous that John's life might be "better," or if he was prideful in thinking that he would play such a role, and wanted to know what John's life would be like so he could feel superior.
If we look at how Peter grew throughout the gospels, it's probable that, after hearing what he would suffer for Christ's sake, he was concerned for his friend. The Bible doesn't give us Peter's heart intent. But it does give us Jesus' answer.
"What is that to you? You must follow me." (John 21:22, NIV)
God has called us all to different paths, and while we are called to be concerned for others, we're not called to compare our lives to theirs. We're called simply to follow Christ in the way He leads us, not in the way He's leading someone else.
If I compare my faults to others, it makes it harder to keep my eyes on my path, instead of looking at theirs.
Comparing in one area makes it easier to compare in another.
Comparing faults makes it easier to fall into the trap of comparing blessings.
Comparing faults makes it easier to compare lives.
All comparison with others takes our focus off of Christ.
3. We start to see our value apart from Christ.
When we use comparison as a false comfort, we forget where our worth really lies. With Who our worth really lies.
Instead, we fall back into the lie that our value is based on our own actions.
I didn't fall flat on my face in front of the entire staff meeting, so at least I'm not that embarrassing.
My work on that project might not be very good, but at least I turned it in on time, unlike her project.
But this "good" feeling we get only lasts so long. And then we start to feel dissatisfied again.
Dissatisfied with our lives, our callings...
We start to feel worthless once more.
Because using comparison to bolster our sense of worth will never set us free from the pressure of feeling our worth is based on our performance rather than His Person.
Turning away from it, though, helps us to remember that, though we slip up and fail, though we make mistakes and sin, God accepts us for who we are, because He has deemed us valuable no matter what we do.
Comparison in both forms is deadly, because both cause us to turn our focus off Christ, and to how we ourselves stack up. We need to make sure we guard against not only comparing where we lack, but also in how we use comparison to comfort us in the face of our own faults.
Because only in Christ can we find true comfort and forgiveness, both for silly mistakes and our sins.
Comments
Post a Comment
Feel free to share your opinions, however, please be aware that I moderate all comments, and will not approve any with vulgar, suggestive, or rude language (including those which make use of symbols [*%$] to take the place of letters to try to slide by). I also will not approve advertisement comments. Please use your voice to add to the conversation. You are free to agree or disagree, but please no trolling, flaming, or spamming. Thanks!